Magic Leap Raises $80 Billion To Ramp Up Production Of Enticing Tease Videos

October 12, 2017

PLANTATION, FL - Enigmatic augmented reality startup Magic Leap announced this week they have successfully closed their next round of fundraising, allowing them to continue work on titillating clips that do not show any actual product.

In an interview, founder Roy Abovitz laid out his vision of perpetuating the public's perception of the company as a gigantic bottomless money pit. "Our goal", insisted Abovitz, "is to beguile and allure curious parties for years to come. Are we building a headset? Glasses? Some sort of contact lens? Who knows! The only way to find out is to see the demo when you're investing in our next round."

A company spokesperson remarked that Magic Leap has already broken ground for an on-site production studio, and has also made moves to dramatically ramp up their hiring efforts for video production, directing, video and sound editing, and screenwriting. They also announced the start of construction on their new headquarters, which will be a large windowless building with "Worth The Wait, We Promise" painted in large letters on the side.

You might also enjoy:

Man Feeling Unimportant After Not Being Targeted By Google Docs Phishing Attack
Startup Engineer Unwittingly Implements Crappier Version of Open Source Project
Midsize Startup Impulsively Adopts Trendy JS Framework in Effort to Rectify Insurmountable Technical Debt
Etsy Launches Marketplace for Artisanal Machine Learning
Bitcoin Core Contributor Realizes Side Project Inadvertently Establishes FDIC Clone